the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
