i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
