wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
