just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
