I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
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