My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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