I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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