i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
