I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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