Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
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