i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
