I cockslap morals
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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