You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
