none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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