if you like me you must not know who I am
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Your tits are I can't wait for
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
