she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Randomize
