the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I supernannyed him into submission
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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