Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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