Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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