every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
