Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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