I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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