We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
