He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
