Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
The feeling are messing with the penis
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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