Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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