he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
