She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
