And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
