You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
