): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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