I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
