you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
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