i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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