the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
