so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
