Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Randomize
