I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
