I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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