idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
wrigley field is MILF paradise
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
