well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
