talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
