U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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