So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Never underestimate the power of titties
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
