Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Vodka?
Forever.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
