the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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