i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Go christen that room with your naked body.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
