You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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