I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
