Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
