I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Randomize
