I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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