I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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