I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
operation have a gay friend backfired
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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